Guess I need to try again

I haven't been feeling any better

It's been feeling like something is wrong and my only ideas are get help, something that isn't easy for someone who's so anti social. I have no motivation to do anything so I took advantage of my benifets and started getting involved with the VA hospital. I think my fear of hospitals got worse. I couldn't stop moving, I can't look anone in the eye, and I laugh alot about nothing. A kind old lady even asked me if I was ok and if I wanted to sit with her for a whileI got my shots and the only thing "Wrong" with me is my cholestoral is 12 points to high. Then I got over my nerves and requested to speak with mental health. Right off the bat that lady labeled me as Manic Depressive and set me up with the actual mental health clinic. My actual Mental health doctor was rushed due to the check in desk making a mistake and not calling me in and he said I was Bi Polar, now I'm taking pills in hopes they would work, but I can't keep my mind off of it to avoid the Placebo effect, after all, pills from the military is what messed me up so I'm overl causious andexpect the worse.

My room is a mess again. I can't gather the energy to clean it and my brother keeps bringing food in here and leaving it. The Baits and sprays I bought arn't killing the roaches as effectivly anymore and they are making me sick yet I don't feel like doing anything about it. School started back up for me, but I found a new problem, I am compleatly unable to read my textbooks. I don't know why but looking at the page and it's like my eyes ignore words and sentences, add that with my lack of otivation and it's going to be very hard to not fail again. I'm tired of failing classes, especally ones that could have been easy.

My computer is starting to have serious problems. The fan stopped working compleatly so I bought a fan for it, the keyboard sticks and the Ctrl buttons no longer work, alot of my programs crash as soon as they start, it just shuts down when out of power instead of sleeping, holds no charge, uninstalls my mouse and tablet and a whole lot of other wierdness. I'm keeping it running the best I can but it already proved unreliable with school.

I really need friends in this city. I have plenty of good friends, very good friends that are close to me, but none of them are ever close or they are to much like me and we get bored. How do adults make friends anyway? I wanna join Something like Karate and start going to a gym, but I'm not much to do anything when I'm alone.

I hope I can get out of this, but at the moment I'm trying to do politics homework with a hangover like headache and an unexplainable painful body.